Sadly the holiday had to come to end and we are back home again, unpacking and getting back into the reality of home again.
We had a great time away and I am so glad we went away. It was really special family time and we did so much in the short time away but we were all together and that was what mattered the most! We stayed in a two bedroom little cabin which was great because we all were together and spent time doing things in the small space we had and although I don't think I could live like that (I do like my own space) I really liked the fact we were never far away from each other and you couldn't just block the kids out and do your own thing, you had to be involved with them or at least watching them and what they were doing. There were fights between the boys but less than usual and I guess that was because we were right there with them.
Yesterday we walked around the mount and after setting out at about 11am it was about 3pm before we made it back to the cabin again.....the walk involved C attempting to climb every part of the bank/bush he could find and jump, slide and run whenever he could with M not far behind him giving it a good go. We then stopped to admire the view and after being pooped on by a seagull with the boys in hysterics we met up with people we knew and spent some time with them. We carried on our walk and found a cool beach with heaps of shells and little rock pools for the kids to play in. After making it back onto the main beach we spent ages down there just enjoying the sun, watching M fill his pockets with sand and shells and C making castles and jumping the waves.
We went to the pools for a swim and got to be bowled over in the 'waves' when they are artificially made in the pool...like being at the real beach. C and B loved it....M and I headed for the toddler pool....much safer there!
Was so happy that I managed to find some gebra's today!!!!! My face was beaming as I showed them to B Bright, vibrant and pretty. So happy to have found some and to be able to have them at the cabin.
So we then headed to the beach to let off the lantern and even before we left this was a bit emotional. We read through the poem that S had written on it, and then I added some words also from our family. We talked to the children about what we were doing and C got a bit upset. M kept saying "Grace not here" which didn't really help but he was true and what he understands. There was a beautiful sunset on the beach, really pinky colour which was cool and we lit the lantern and waited and then I got nervous and scared it wasn't going to take off. I had gone over and over in my head all sorts of messages for Grace and we were all silent while we waited for the lantern......it then took off and we were relieved it had worked. The lantern floated out over the ocean which was awesome and we watched it go further and further until we could see it no more. C talked lots about "Grace being all around us" and "watching us from up in heaven". This moment was so special, hard, beautiful and a real 'letting go' all over again. We were all together remembering Grace and she was our only thought at that time. Emotional for all of us but a time to remember. On the beach C drew pictures in the sand for Grace. C was upset a few times over and when we got to the car he said "we didn't say our wishes for Grace" because on the lantern packaging it had said to make a wish. C was so right and we had to explain that we had Grace in our hearts and thoughts and he could make a wish if he wanted to, we had just got so taken in the moment we forgot to allow him to do this on the beach. So having the lantern to release was a big part of the holiday and brought some emotions to the surface but was also a special time to talk about our baby girl and know that she will never be forgotten.
Once we got back to the cabin we all watched movies together again till the boys fell asleep and B and I toasted life, family and being with each and having the boys with a couple of glasses of wine. Focusing on what you have is one way of coping with life and what has happened.
Today the kids wanted to back to the beach and I did too so after finally finding a carpark, we headed onto 'pirate island' and had a small walk to a look out point over all the beach. We then spent time on the rocks playing and exploring. It was time to head home so we drove around Maclaren falls park and then came home. C and M slept the whole way home so that showed how tired there were from their busy but great time away.
Arrived home to a surprise to find the 'plant' fairy had been to deliver some vegies for my garden and also a lovely pink gebra sitting with the plants! Really cool to come home to...thanks fairy!