Sunday, September 4, 2011

September begins...

And another month begins....September....symbolic to me as this is the month my baby would have been born and this year would have been the year she turned one.

I know that May is also another significant month, and will forever be the most prominent month as that is when Grace was actually born. However September last year was a biggie as it was the time I had to get through the other babies being born when mine would have been and the feeling of utter loss when I had no baby to birth. This September, it is slightly different and slightly easier.....but with this September this year, I am hearing about the two other little baby girls who are turning one and the plans for their birthdays.....getting through it but some moments bit hard.

I have ordered my canvas prints of the sunsets with Graces name and the sand butterfly with Graces name. I am not even sure where they are going to go or where they are going to fit on my wall but I just felt I really wanted them done and knew it would be nice to have them this month. Just one small way once again of honouring my baby's memory.

I had hoped to see blossoms on my cherry tree this September as there are so many blossoms in so many places around me, however there are no blossoms to be seen yet......

The forget me not's that M and Mum planted are in flower though and that is special and significant to me....I get to glance out the window each morning of my bathroom and see them there....think of Grace and know she is loved.

Still no news from the hospital.....waiting on a confirmation date for the surgery for my hernia......

Kinda ironic that one year ago today, we were together as a family, away for the weekend........and today we are home as a family.......sick husband and sick C.....but all together.

I love my time out from my family and some moments I feel like my head will explode with the fighting and the constant amount of housework, the emotional roller coasters and the ongoing energy zapping times......however I would not change it for anything. I love the kids and I love B and I love being a mum, and I love that we have a nice home and nice things and we are lucky to have 2 healthy children and I have one beautiful angel daughter, that I love also.

How do you get through the months....what helps you to get through this life and each day?

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