PS I love you

Watching the movie PS I love you...ages ago I watched this movie and thought 'gosh how awful to lose the one you live' and loved the romantic funny side to the storyline....tonight I feel so many of her emotions and can relate....especially when all the girls are in the boat and one friend announces her pregnancy and the other announces her wedding and Hilary is sitting there fake smile and offering them congratulations. I know how that feels. You get good at a fake smile when people tell you of a pregnancy or a new baby has been born. Truly you are happy for them but on the inside the feeling of your own loss hurts and the pain can re-surface at these times of announcements.

The days do get easier and sometimes I feel guilty at having an easier day. Then other days there is a reminder, a feeling, a song, a newborn baby crying....sometimes there are days that pull you back into emptiness, heartache and I miss my baby with that consuming and overwhelming feeling of utter devastation.