Sunday, September 4, 2011

Private or public blog


I received my beach pictures from the lady in Australia who writes names in the sand for families who have lost a baby. I was so happy to see them and so quickly, it was a nice surprise. I will hopefully get these put onto canvas, just have to plan out exactly how I want to do it and then arrange it with T at work.

I have also been thinking seriously about making my blog public rather than private. I follow other peoples blogs that have been brave enough to put their stories out there so want them to also be able to follow my story. However I am reluctant just because of knowing so many people I dont want to have people I know, know too much if you get what I mean and also I am scared of judgement....all of the stories I follow are of families who lost babies and 'it happened' where as I feel that there may be judgement based on the fact of medical termination. I have decided that if I do make my blog public, I will start a whole new blog, add previous enteries from this blog and keep both a public and private blog. My private blog can have personal enteries and also contain my family photos etc and the public blog will be less personal in the mention of names etc but also not have the same photos. Will be a bit of work but that way I can connect with people who have been through the loss of a child without feeling like maybe "I should be over this by now" and family and friends may think that also, however I know that grief comes in many different waves and some days are calm and others are stormy....there is no time line on when you will be more rules for how to make it through the days......

For me, having jewellery, having special pictures, mementoes are all that I have along with memories and some photos. I never can take another photo of Grace, I cant buy her a dress and I can never hold her again. That is painful and it makes me ache for my baby. I am so glad that I ordered these pictures and also the pendent because it helps me feel connected and a way to honour Grace and her memory.

She will always be a part of our family......xoxoxo to you Grace.

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