Into the month of June

Yah we have moved out of the month of May and into the month of June! The end of May was better than I thought thank goodness. I started the month with a lot of anxiety, putting on a smile when I really was not feeling happy and sad moments when I just wanted to be by myself. As we got through the date of Grace's birth, I found myself breathing slightly easier and feeling less anxious, still missing a piece of me but knowing this will be a 'forever' thing that I will carry.

We celebrated my sisters birthday with the family and this was really nice, simple, stress free and being together. We then went to bowling later in the week which was great and the kids had a great time.

S arrived on the 24th of May with a pink helium balloon, which was lovely and we choose to keep this as the children loved it so much. I put the balloon by the table along with the flowers I had brought, the flowers T had brought and also some gifts from a friend of mums who has watched me grow up; a ornament for the christmas tree and some angel candles. I also was given a bear for Grace, from S-K and a card from her with some very touching words. I have added the photos to my previous blog.

I had a lovely lady I know come up to me and give a huge hug, asking how I was and saying that she still thinks of us and what we went through. She is trying to organise a 'pamper' place for myself and mum to go to for a break and some pampering.

I went out last night for delish pudding and a drink with 'P' and we had a great catch up and talk. We can share everything that needs to be said and things we need to get off our minds. We share our baby loss and journey together and we help each other out by being there for each other and by being supportive. We have similar emotions and feelings and may experience them at different times, but we do have what happened to us and that links us. She gave me a beautiful gift that she said she had seen and it reminded her of our two babies together.

I sat with my special items the other night and went through the box of items that I have that were either given to me for Grace or link to Grace such as the notes from the farewell service. I went through all of them and have put a few of them out in 'Graces special area' in my room. I am still wanting to buy some jewellery with hand and footprints on it, I just have not ordered it yet.

So month of June..... my birthday....my brothers birthday....girls weekend away....T moving house.....and our trip to Ronald McDonald House! We leave this Saturday and will be back the following Friday. My family will come over for one night at this stage and anyone else is welcome to visit, but unfortunately can not stay. I would rather not be going to be honest because of the reason why we are going, however I am focusing on the family and time for us to be together and have some fun and also some relaxing time.