Reading other peoples blogs about them losing their baby/babies is something I never ever imagined that I would ever be doing, want to be doing or something I never thought I could 'stomach'. Now this is something that is part of almost my daily routine....have found another blog from a lady who really speaks from the heart, leaves no word or emotion out of what she says and today I found what she had to say very true and thought I would share what she said...this is for my friends and family who stood by me during the tough times and are still standing by me and are not afraid to mention Grace and make her a part of our family, which is just what I want. I thank you all very much and know that I really do appreciate having you in my life.
And I wondered, as I clicked away, about all the people who failed to even attempt to understand us: who just moved on, and ignored it, and forgot it, and refused to talk about it. The people who thought they were insulating themselves against our deadbaby juju by stepping a good ten feet away and using hand sanitizer. The people who thought our lives were "too negative!" and they were doing them-positivity-selves a favor by not reaching out into the morass.
But maybe this woman is right, and these people couldn't muster up enough kindness for themselves to open the door to someone else's hurt. I'm not sure I have enough self-compassion to feel sorry for them, but it did make me think about them, even for just a few minutes. I realized we aren't the pity parties, they are. They're the self-absorbed ones, who blather on about wallowing and moving on. We're not the one's who are alone, they are. We're the normal, the ones with suffering, they're in denial. The people who can sit and be with us and our pain? Are truly good to themselves and understand compassion and its interconnectedness -- probably to such an extent that it's interwoven and unconscious. I should probably strive to be one of these people. I owe them so much.