However with the midwife there for support, B and I sat with the specialist and ran through everything. We are still awaiting final confirmation of the CMV infection from the post mortem on the placenta, but there was no new news so from that I was relieved. From here I now have to have blood tests in 3 months to see where my blood levels are at in relation to the infection and here's hoping my immunity against CMV has increased. All going well we have been told that fairly safely we could proceed with a pregnancy in six months time based on research etc linking with my immunity to the CMV. So bit longer than I thought but at this stage I was not ready anyway so at least now, if B and I do decide we are ready to try again, then we know that we have been advised to wait until early next year at this stage.
I will be monitored very closely in a next pregnancy with regular scans and blood tests for both security and to monitor my progress for both C and M's placenta problems that occured (IUGR) and also to watch for any signs of 'other' infections or the very slim chance of a recurrence of CMV. So bit scary but not ready to cross that bridge yet so will worry about that down the track. For now life is going on with school holidays, boys stuck inside and me keeping them busy and not fighting!
So thats all for now, I just put Grace's farewell service onto a DVD, printed some photos of Grace for mum today and brought another charm for my bracelet...an angel. Getting along through the days and finding quiet moments to reflect and remember.