Wednesday, July 13, 2011

The day we farewelled our angel at a service

The day of the service arrived and I knew that I just had to focus on getting through the day. B and I started the day with plenty of hugs for each other and knowing that we were there for each other. T arrived with a huge platter of food and got busy helping out with what she could. My mum arrived to take care of M and C, and B and I headed off to spend time with Grace.

We set up the room we were having the service in, and then spent time holding Grace, taking photos and videoing a small bit. B and I talked, held hands and sat in silence also waiting and wishing time would stop for us. B suggested putting all the beautiful gifts that had been given to Grace and would go with Grace, around the casket. This was lovely and showed that family and friends were thinking of her. We had invited only close family and friends to the service as we wanted the service to be private but also were restricted on the size of the room.
When everyone arrived I had the feeling of 'everyone is looking at us' wondering what to say, what to do and thinking about our wee Grace. The service went exactly how I planned, with many emotions and beautiful words and music shared. B held my hand while I shook the entire time and tried to stay focused on what was being said. I had choosen a song called 'Precious Child' by Karen Taylor Good, which was expressed so many things beautifully through this song in regards to this situation. When the service was finished, we all went outside to release some pink helium balloons. B and I had two extra special ones with baby feet all over them. This was a symbol of saying goodbye and a final farewell to Grace.

B and I then had the hardest car trip of our lives and travelled with Grace on my knee in the casket to the crematorium. We wanted to travel with her and take her with us as she was ours and with us for the very last time. This was where we had to say goodbye and was extremely hard and heart wrenching. We said our goodbyes and walked away. I could not look back and told B just to drive or otherwise I would race back in and get her and may not leave. I cant express how hard this part was and the only thing that made it easier was the fact we were together. We left and also said a little hello to B's dad, my aunty and my grandparents who are at Newstead, asking them if they could take care of our little Grace along with everyone else that was waiting for her.......

As we arrived and as we left there was a beautiful rainbow in the sky and sunshine for a short time. I still look at rainbows now and think of Grace as a reminder of that time.

We arrived back at home where family and friends were there waiting, along with some more friends that joined us. This time showed how lucky we were are with the overwhelming love and support around us. The day was exhausting but went smoothly and beautifully amongst the anguish we were feeling. Farewell our angel, play in the garden, watch over your family and we will meet again.

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