Well after heaps of talking about it with B I have finally booked us three nights away at Mount Maunganui at the time of Grace's due date. I want to remember this date as a special family time and have something really fun and nice to look forward to over the coming weeks.
I am finding it a bit tough with up-coming babies being born that were all due around the same time, people I know and they are having baby girls also. At work I have three mums that are having their babies and also one that just had hers five weeks early. I don't have any resentment against any of 'pregie people' as this was something I was asked, I just wish them well and hope they know how lucky they are to be having a baby, along with the sleepless nights, challenges and all the joys of a newborn and years to come!
I could have been having my baby anytime from early September (going from the two boys being early with placenta problems) through to my actual due date of September 30th 2010. So I have also planned weekends with things to do and places to go so that we are busy and keeping the time enjoyable and family focused.
With that all said, Grace is never far from my thoughts, I still wish every day I had her back and would give anything to have her back, however I know that she could not have survived with the damage that was done to her tiny body from the infection. I still ache for her and wonder about how she would have looked, how she would have been with her brothers and how she would have grown and changed. C did a beautiful and very special scrapbook page about Grace the other day and I will share that once I have taken a photo of it. Really awesome!
So I am not really looking forward to the roller-coaster of emotions I know I will not be able prevent over the next few months, however I am looking forward to the family holiday and some time away just focusing on being a family and taking care of each other!