Thursday, July 14, 2011

Dear baby girl

My baby girl
I love you and I miss you.
My heart aches,
To have you back,
To hold you, to cuddle you.

The time is near,
When you should have been here.
You were created in love
And you grew inside safe for just a short time.
We loved you even before we met you,
We made plans for you, and for our lives.

At 19 weeks old, we got the shocking news,
And we will never be the same again.
Your poor wee body was damaged,
Your chance at life so very bleak.
We didn't want you to struggle or to put you through pain,
So decisions were made with our hearts torn in pieces.
We loved you so much but had to let you go.
I just wanted to wake up and find it was all not true.
The time blurred with emotion, grief and pain.

Your delivery was fairly easy but filled with anticipation and sorrow.
We met you with feelings of intense longing and overwhelming love.
You body was tiny, oh so tiny,
And your features so perfectly formed.
I willed you to cry, to open your eyes and to be ok,
I wanted a miracle, I wanted you so badly to keep.

You were blessed by the Chaplin, a verse was said.
You were dressed in a gown too tiny for a doll.
We held you and didn't want to ever let you go.
Nanny came to meet her granddaughter,
And to pass on her love.
We talked to you and we cried together,
But most of all we poured our love into our tiny sleeping baby.

The next few days were spent creating memories,
And focusing on what lay ahead.
We brought you home for the short time we could.
Your brothers met you, held you and spent time with you.
Every time I held you I was in awe
Of my baby girl, my daughter,
My girl I always dreamed of,
Here she was in palm of my hand.
I was angry and sad and just couldn't understand why....
Why us?
Why my baby girl?
Why couldn't I have her healthy and forever?

We did all that we could,
To farewell you with family and friends around.
We wanted to honor your life and your memory.
We made everything pretty and pink.
We said our farewells, until we met you again.
We hope you are playing with angels and happy.

Time moves on, people move on.
But we will never, ever forget you.
You have changed our lives in such a big way.
You are forever cherished and loved by us all.
I would do anything to have you back.
I am a bit empty and lost without you,
And nothing will ever fill this space.
You will always be our baby girl,
Our third child,
A sister
A daughter
And a grand-daughter.
You will always be in our hearts and memories.
You are my precious child, baby Grace, my angel forever

Lots of lots endless love
From Mummy and family

My angel
Grace Mary-Kay
Born May 21st 2010

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