I have decided that I will continue to have a private blog but only entirely for me and my own thoughts and an area to express myself and to have a public blog that will remain open. I have varying reasons for doing this but it is something I have been thinking about for a while. I mainly need to have my own space now to filter through my own thoughts and now that support systems have changed and sadly have 'withered' a bit, I now want to change how my blog is used. My private blog will be for photos, expressing myself and letters to Grace, things I cant say outloud and my public blog will be for connecting with others who have unfortunately shared in the loss of a baby and as a support system along with expressing my thoughts.
I no longer write often but I will still be writing and I still need to be able to express my thoughts. I still miss my baby Grace each and every day, some more than others, but she is never far from my thoughts and sometimes consuming every thought I have.
I thank everyone for being a part of our lives for nearly two whole years now and I appreciate all the support we all received. I have had many, many beautiful items brought for me that will remain precious and forever treasured. Getting through the darkest days has only been possible from the strength that people around us provided for us and I only wish that one day I can re-pay that favour somehow but in a different way.
My life is easier most days now, but still missing one very big part of our lives and we can never change this no matter how hard I wish for things to be different. Losing a child ripped out a part of me and has changed me forever. I am forever walking around with an empty part of me that will never be fullfilled due to Grace not being here. I appreciate what joy she gave us in such a short time and I appreciate that I can say I have a daughter. She was and is loved forever.