I had some comments made to me from others that all disagreed by what she had done and they thought that if something happened and she was for some reason no longer in our lives she would forever carry the tattoo of Grace.
I thought about this long and hard and found really conflicted but reality was this person was someone who was by my side whenever I needed her, she listened, she never judged, she brought me items that will be forever treasured and special and she was someone I trusted and she was there through everything. I confronted these comments and made that statement that no matter what, regardless of what could happen this person was there for me through the most hardest time of my life and therefore having the tattoos were simply a marking of that time for her and for me. She was honouring my baby, her niece and no matter what anybody thought I didn't care because she was doing something special.
Now something has happened, her marriage has recently dissolved and who knows what happens from this moment but I am sad and I want her to know that, its not her fault, Im not placing blame at all I just simply am sad the relationship is over and things will now change. I don't cope well with change, I don't like it.
I want her to know that her children are still my family and I still very much care for them and will do anything to help care for them from now on, more than ever. I am sad because I cant be there for her when she needs someone the most and return the support she has given me, because I am too close to the situation and my family member is involved so my loyalty has to be with him. I am sad that I will no longer have her around much for advice, support and a friend. I am sad that I got to know her so much and now I feel like I don't know her at all. I am sad this has happened and I am sad for everyone involved, the effects on family and the effects on the children. It has really hit me hard today that my biggest support is no longer someone I can logistically turn too and that makes me sad. I hope she knows that one day sooner rather than later I would like to talk with her, I would like to wish her well with what lies ahead and wish her support with getting help for her depression, her studies, house-hunting, and the children. I don't want her to be non-existent in our lives because she has already been such a big part of it.